Now there is question, there is question now; he puts question.
“Alright it is good, I am also Shiva! But when I get a headache I cry just like a beast; or stomach ache; or something, or some wound; or I have an accident, where is that Shiva bhava...
DENISE: Then?
SWAMIJI: ...where that Shiva bhava has gone?
Iti jnatva... for that he replies:
iti jnatva grahitavya naiva jatvapi khandana /
shivo‘ham cenmadicchanuvarti kim na jagatviti //28//
[Shaiva answers]
Putting this fact of state into consideration, one should never observe that khandana. Khandana is the defective state in his nature. Khandana is defective state...
DEVOTEE: Doubtful state?
SWAMIJI: No, defective state.
"I am Shiva... I am Shiva... Oh! I have got a headache!"
Is it not defective nature of Shiva?
He was Shiva and that headache has caught Shiva!
Is this Shiva, would you call that Shiva?
BRUCE P: Yes, just like Shiva. Because he‘s created all of this ignorance?
SWAMIJI: No, he has created all ignorance, but he is crying.
BRUCE P: But he does that and it is his own play?
SWAMIJI: But he does not realize that.
DENISE: He has pain and he forgets he is Shiva.
SWAMIJI: He has pain and he forgets Shiva at that time. He says, you should not think like that! He [Abhinavagupta] says, iti jnatva grahitavya naiva jatvapi khandana, this kind of doubt, and this kind of defective state existing in yourself, you should never think.
And you should never think, Shivo‘ham cet, if I would have been Shiva, madicchanuvarti kim na jagatviti, why this whole existence of world does not take place according to my choice? This should act according to my choice, it does not, it goes on like this.”
There is roaring of thunderbolt, I don‘t like it . . . at that time I don‘t like it. I say, “Oh, it is terrible!” But if I was Shiva I could stop it, [but] I can‘t stop it.
DEVOTEE: Or enjoy it!
SWAMIJI: “Shivo ‘ham cet, if I would have been Shiva, why these thing happen against my wishes in this world?” You should not say like that. He says you should not think like that. Why? I‘ll make you understand.
mamecchamanuvartantamityatrahamvidi sphuret /
shivo va parameflano dehadiratha nirmitah // 29//
shivasya tavadastyetaddehastvesatatha tvaya /
kritah kanya dehatasya tatkim syadvacyatapadam //30//
Mameccham anuvartantam if I would have been Shiva [then] why this whole universe does not act according to my choice, according to my orders?
You desire for something, it does not happen. Are you Shiva?
I don‘t like this kind of Shiva who is dependent always; desiring something, and no hope for achievement of that desire. If you say like that–mama iccham anuvartantam–if I would have been Shiva then let this whole universe take place according to my choice; acha, if you say that, Shivo va parameflano dehadir atha nirmitah to whom do you attribute this kind of question?
Do you adjust this kind of question to Shiva or to your body? Tell me that first!
I‘ll answer to this point; Do you attribute this question to Shiva, or to your body?
Why this universe does not take place according to my choice? Who is my? Do you attribute this my to Shiva or to your body?
Shivasya tavadastyetad if you attribute this to Shiva, Shiva has . . . Shiva does behave like that. It is the choice of Shiva that this universe is created, protected, destroyed, concealed and revealed. Dehastvesatatha tvaya, but if you attribute this question to your body, this ego you‘ll adjust to your body that, “this [body] must create”; [but] this cannot create. Body is already created by Shiva. So you must not adjust your ego to the body, you must adjust your ego to Shiva.
Have you understood?
Have you understood sir?
BRUCE P: Yes, yes.
SWAMIJI: That is the point to be understood.
Kritah kanya dehatasya tatkim syat vacyatapadam if you attribute this kind of question to your body, then it won‘t be answered. It won‘t be answered. Because the body is already body, it is created substance. It is not your Self. Your Self is Shiva. You should adjust this question to Shiva. Shiva has, Shiva creates according to his choice.
Now this is the choice of the body, [that] thunderbolt must not fall. This is the choice of not Shiva, because Shiva won‘t die by thunderbolt. Body will die.
DENISE: Senses feel that.
SWAMIJI: Senses feel that.
So you should not attribute this kind of question to Shiva. You are putting this question in the wrong way.
I think you have understood now.
DEVOTEE: Yes, yes.
SWAMIJI: iyata ca jnanaparipurnatakhyam prameyamuktam, tadeva ca paramupadeyam . . . (comm. to sloka 30.)
So this is the reality one has to achieve, “lose faith in your body attachment; don‘t be attached to your body.” Body is already just like a pot, it is already dead, unconscious. And the consciousness, which is residing, which is existing in the body, is Shiva. It won‘t die. Body will be crushed by thunderbolt, so you are grumbling.
uktam ca siddhasantanaflrimadurmimahakule /
This is not my thinking only. You should not say that it is only the thinking of Abhinavagupta. This is explained in Siddha Santana Tantra and Urmi Mahakula Tantra in both Tantras this is said by Lord Shiva himself.
pavanabhramanapranavikshepadikritashramah //31//
kuhakadishu ye bhrantaste bhrantah parame pade /
Pavana bhramana prana vikshepadikritashramah and those yogis who have become the devotees of Mahesh Yogi (you know? –for rising high from the level of the ground; he has put sadhana now for his devotees how to rise in air, in ether) . . .
DEVOTEE: Levitation.
SWAMIJI: Huh?
DEVOTEE: It‘s called levitation.
SWAMIJI: . . . and pavana bhramana prana vikshepadikritashramah and those who are trying for these powers, achievement of these powers, you must know that they have got attachment for the body.
What is rising from the level of the ground?
Body! Body is rising . . . what have you got to do with body?
You have everything to do with God. God is already everywhere.
(source: Trantraloka 14, Audio Archives Universal Shaiva Fellowship)Labels: svatantrya (fee will), Tantraloka
